Let’s give credit where credit’s due. Just when we all thought Piranha 3D could never be topped on the campiness scale, the producers up and named its sequel Piranha 3DD. Then when we thought the cast for the original could never be bested, they went out and hit a home run with Gary Busey. Until this morning, the only thing the sequel seemed to be lacking was a replacement for the stunning hotness of Kelly Brook. Fear not, B-movie fans, the studio once again has a brilliant solution.
Katrina Bowden has been added to the shoot already underway. In all likelihood, that name means nothing to you; so, let me give you a brief rundown of her credentials. Katrina plays Liz Lemon’s stunningly hot assistant on 30 Rock. She’s the one always wearing the flimsy outfits and texting at inappropriate moments, though it’s never held against her because she’s absurdly sexy. In fact, Esquire just named her the sexiest woman in the world, a world that also includes Scarlett Johansson, Jennifer Aniston and Lacey Chabert.
If you’re still not sold on Piranha 3DD’s greatness, let me hit you with a quick plot overview. Those same carnivorous bastards that terrorized Elizabeth Shue’s lake are back, this time infesting swimming pools, showers and a water park. The latter’s ignorant owner waits too long to close the fun down, and the piranhas run amuck, severing necks and busting up swimsuits like there’s no tomorrow.
The film is scheduled to open on November 23rd. I’ll be there, and if you like good times, I suggest you join me.